Honest to Goodness Frienship

"Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find one good you must one hundred try." 

-- Claude Mermet

Do you ever wish you could go back to when friendships were determined by who was nice to you that day? Or who was willing to trade their twinkie for your apple? To be honest, I have never been that person. I have never changed friends like some women. I have never been a friend of convenience. I have never been someone who trusts easily. I am not quick to push myself into another woman's circle of friends, nor am I quick to welcome people into mine. 

As I have moved through the various phases of life: grade school, high school, college, professional career and now military spouse, I have acquired many acquaintances but only a select group of friends. I remember my mom telling me as a child, "When you grow up, you will be lucky if you can count your number of true friends on 2 hands." She couldn't be more right.

As a Marine wife, I move every few years and with that comes the need to find new friends. I have become more open to meeting new people, but remain selective in those I truly consider friends. 

With age comes trials and tribulations. It is during these times, we discover the difference between friends and acquaintances. When my cousin died, I collapsed into my best friend's arms. When I had alcohol poisoning in college, my dear friend rode with me in the ambulance to the ER, thereby giving up her Halloween celebration. When I called off an engagement, my friends didn't judge; instead, they told me I was brave and they then stood beside me as I married the man I'd loved since I was 16 but had only seen a handful of times over the course of 10 years. When my parents have had health issues, my girlfriends have listened to me cry. When my husband deployed, a woman I had known for less than a year brought me wine and tissues, and when he came home she took pictures though her husband would remain overseas for another few months. 

No matter what has gone on, these women have never been "convenient" friends, or (as we call them in the military life) "deployment friends." No, they have been there when life isn't convenient. When it is 2am and they are sound asleep. When God makes me really mad and I just need someone. 

They are also there when I am rolling on the grass laughing so hard I wet my pants. They are there when I need a drink at noon. They are there to tell me turning 30 and still being childless is ok, and that I am not destined to be the cat lady. 

These select few are some of the bravest, most generous, caring, supportive, hysterical women I know, and I thank God every day for the friends that are here when life isn't convenient.

Thank you all for letting me watch your kids (though I am always more terrified than you or your child). Thank you for letting me share in your "I Do" moments. Thank you for knowing what I need, even when I don't. Thank you for everything. 

"A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -Bernard Meltzer