I know y'all are aware from previous posts that I was diagnosed with melanoma 3 years ago, had surgery and have been skin cancer free ever since (knockin on wood...no really, I just knocked on wood...I'm superstitious like that)
Well, I am a firm believer that fat looks much better when tanned. I am convinced I shed 5-10 pounds every time I get a tan. That being said, as much as I want to be skinnier, I don't want another ugly scar to match my current one. So I stay out of the sun.
But I am an avid Mystic Tanner. Spray it on baby! So before I headed off to Georgia, I swung by the tanning salon. After all, my wardrobe was only going to consist of sundresses and shorts.
Did I mention that every time I enter the tanning salon, I breathe in deeply and remind myself over and over that I can NOT get in the actual bed. It is like bringing an alcoholic to a bar and saying, "sit here while I devour a few shots." It's torture...and I get really crabby every time I see someone go into the tanning bed because I can't!
So I get my tan on right before heading south. Just as I am getting home, it starts to drizzle. No biggie...I just rush into the house, grab the dog, Mr. Marine and head out on the long open road!
Ahhhh, I can feel my tan seeping in and I love the smell of tanning!
We arrive in Athens, and I go to change my clothes.
Uh (gasp!)...silence...
I have a skin disease. Michael Jackson's pigment disease!
Every.Single.Place. that rain touched me is now white! I am a blotchy mess! And all I have to wear are sundresses! I dropped an F-bomb and RAN to my friend's shower. Jumped in. Scrubbed. Soaped. Loofahed. Scrubbed. Panicked. Scrubbed.
Nothing helped. I was a blotchster and would remain one until my tan wore off.
I am now convinced that God made this happen to me to teach me a lesson! I realized, through this experience that I am a vain woman! I truly didn't want to leave the house. I cried. I actually cried. I changed outfits up to 5 times before ever deciding on one. I told my husband and my friend that I was fearful people would think I had that pigment problem. I was certain people were staring. And we were in Mr. Marine's college town and I was in a panic that I would run into his ex and she would think "ha ha, he may have dumped me but now he is married to a woman with a pigment disease." I was worried for Mr. Marine...I was an embarrassment to my husband!
Well, over the course of the vacation, I dealt with it and wore what I wanted...not what covered up the blotches. Though I am not going to lie, it bothered me every time I looked at my arm.
And while I have made progress in being less vain due to this experience...I am still thanking God that he didn't make the raindrops hit my face!
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oh man! that happened to a girl I played lacrosse with. She just used the lotion the night before or the morning of. It poured that day and all of the lotion just started running down her leg! Our coach and teammates NEVER let her live it down! She was a good sport about it though and just laughed it off!
ReplyDeleteOh no! I'd totally be vain about that too! I'm glad you survived it though- next time you Mystic Tan, carry a raincoat if the sky is even somewhat cloudy ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started reading this post, I totally thought I needed a tan for next weekend! Then it got me thinking, what if it went horribly wrong?
ReplyDeleteHopefully, yours will even out and with warmer weather, you can get a real tan! With sunscreen of course!
That is a terrible and funny story... and one that would totally happen to me. I was contemplating getting a spray tan, and now I'm thinking no! Good luck and I hope it evens out soon :-)
ReplyDeleteHappened to me too! Ugh! Why is it that rain takes it off but not scrubbing? It's just not logical!
ReplyDeleteI agree, people look better and more healthy with a tan (a little shallow I know). I would be crying too. Long after of course I would think that it was the funniest thing ever.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever do a mystic tan I will make sure to stay out of the rain!
Oh my gosh!! That's so frustrating!
ReplyDeleteI heard if you use rubbing alcohol it comes off really well. That would take forever to bathe in rubbing alcohol though and the nice tropical smell of a fresh new spray tan wouldn't smell so nice :-(
Yes, sometimes we don't realize how vain we are until it's revealed to us.
ReplyDeleteOh man! I would have cried too. I feel the same way about tanning. I must have color bc I too, feel I lose 5lbs when I'm tan!
ReplyDeleteWow! I would have started crying as well! I'm all about some tanning. I'm going to spray tan for the first time for Matt's leave. I've never got a spray tan before....do they spray your face as well???
ReplyDeleteHoney - most people would've reacted the same way!! But on another subject, I believe I'd be getting my money back!! ;-) xoxo
ReplyDeletehahahaha. I would have freaked out just the same. If it's any consolation, I couldn't tell from any of the photos you put up -- you looked FAB!
ReplyDeleteDid you know there is a SPRAY TAN FIXER?? Yep I too will not tan in the real sun due to the same reasons as you... And I LOVE a spray tan, but California Tan has a product out that "fixes" spray tan messes.
ReplyDeleteAnd it works.
I was a spray tan disaster before a wedding (white all under my arms in a strapless dress with a STREAK down one side of my face)
It works.