OK - I put on my big girl panties and dealt with my pouting self!
I chose to marry a Marine. I had a lot of heart to heart talks with myself before we got married about whether or not I could do this...and obviously, I decided I could. Some days it is easy and well, some days it is not. This has been a very fun duty station given how much we love living in the city, how much fun we have doing great outdoors stuff, the kitschy restaurants, etc... However, this has been a very tough duty station for me. Making friends in this city seems damn near impossible. Though it is a "city" people from here don't ever leave here so being from another state and moving here is a bit like trying to fit in a new high school after transferring junior year. Talk about cliques!
Anyways, I always want to move home to Texas. But for the most part, I am satisfied with trips home every couple of months. Until Saturday.
I found out a girl I know from here is moving to my hometown. I lost it. I mean bawling like a baby. In between sobs, I was screaming to Mr. Marine..."How come everyone gets to move to Texas but me?" sob. sob. "She doesn't even care if she moves to Texas." sob. sob. "I don't have any friends here. I can't find a job here because everyone is getting laid off." sob. sob. "I know you don't understand but I hate this life." sob. sob. "I'm going for a drive by myself. No, I don't want you to go because you are the reason I am stuck here...far away from friends and family and I don't want to see you right now."
I got in my car and drove to Sonic (a place I love going to when I am home) and called my mama. She would like nothing more than for me to move home but she'd never support her daughter acting like a baby about a choice I made. So she told me, "Carebear, this is your life. You are married to the love of your life. You gotta make the best of it sweetie."
So, here I am...focusing on the positive. We invited a few Marines over last night and had a bbq. I am focusing on working out. We have some fun vacations coming up that I am looking forward to. And no matter how many times I have to repeat it..."I chose this life. Buck up."
Thanks for all your sweet comments when I was having a "this sucks" kinda day!
Tuesday Things.
20 hours ago
Posts
Yucko, I am so sorry. It takes a strong person to buck up and hang in there when you want nothing more to just be a baby. An ymmmm sonic...
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you for having the strength to marry and support someone in the military. It is not a strength that everyone possesses. It has to be one of the hardest jobs there is! Don't feel bad about having frustrating days every now and then. Sometimes it's better to get it all out than to keep it bottled in you:0) You have such an amazing attitude, and this experience is just going to make you an even stronger person. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, It will get better I'm sure of it! Eventually you will meet people you connect to and this duty isn't permanent is it? Just focus on the positive and it will all work out in the end. Sometimes life isn’t' for us to understand just make the best of the ride as you can.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you had such a rough day. You can do it though. One day you'll get to move back to Texas and unlike all those other girls you'll appreciate it so much more! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you're having a rough time. I know how hard it can be meeting people here and we will for sure get together when I get back from vacation this week. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI feel you on having a hard day! I was in the car today with Mr. Top Gun and I looked over at him while he was driving, and just started bawling. Then, I saw his plane take off over the ocean and I started sobbing- like the really ugly, girly, yucky sobbing... He asked me why I was crying, so I told him this: "I am not a huge Air Force fan at this moment in time, because I don't appreciate them moving us across the freakin' WORLD and then have us show up after a 14 hour flight from HELL, and be told....
ReplyDelete"YOU ARE GOING TO BE ON THE NEXT DEPLOYMENT IN A FEW MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wow. we just got here, and I already have a plane ticket home for the holidays and New Year. Awesome :) Do you have anymore big girl panties to spare? Because I think mine are all USED up!
*Keep your head up*
*HUGS*!!
I also don't get to move home to Texas and most days I deal with it, but every once in awhile I break down. If you ever don't want to put the big girl panties on you can complain to me about it ;).
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! Sometimes, it can be so frustrating. I had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday also. :( I was absolutely convinced the Air Force wanted to ruin my life and make sure RLA could never be around for anything important. I think I lost 5 pounds of water weight from the tears I shed. Hope this week is better for you!
ReplyDeleteHey, sometimes you have a rough day, cry like a baby, and then put your girl panties on. We all do it. I'm not married to a marine, but we all have our days. You can always count on your blog friends to listen!! No worries her, girl!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. YOU CAN SWITCH WITH ME THOUGH!!! haha... my husband is in Texas and i refuse to live here. (Career wise, friends and family, etc.)
ReplyDeleteSoo I am choosing to live in NJ in September again for my job.
I rather be long distance and happy. Then be with him and have nothing here for myself. Luckily we just have 2 more years left otherwise I don't think I could do the long distance by choice.
I'm glad your getting your chin up and working through it. None of us expected it to be an easy life when we signed up for all of these shenanigans, and I think we're all entitled to have our stomp-around-the-room pout sessions, but we do have to buck up and make the best of it.
ReplyDeleteI was recently at a Chinese restaurant by my office and my fortune cookie had the following message that I've now taped to my computer monitor at work: "Every person is the architect of his own fortune." I try to remind myself of that. :)
I am so happy you gave yourself the necessary peptalk to turn your mood around! but just as al the other ladies have saidthings can't be easy all the time but staying down in the dumps just isn't good for anyone! :)
ReplyDeleteYou can get through this! If you have to be stuck where you are, aren't you glad it is with your wonderful husband?
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better I'm stuck up here in the Marine Corps version of Siberia with my marine, who is rarely here. I'm pining away to end up in NC but alas, winters always seem to come and go wtih FEET of snow and no orders to NC. sigh. so I know how you feel. Hang in there : ) {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeleteI just dropped in from Crazy Shenanigans. I get really tired of putting on my big girl panties. Maybe I need more than one pair...but I totally understand about wanting to be in TX. I miss it so much! I was stuck up 30 miles south of Canada for 3 years and wanted nothing but to go back to TX. Now I'm stuck in NC and would rather be back in NY. I think sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that when my hubby gets out or retires, we'll be living in TX again!
ReplyDeleteDang it! Long comment deleted. Argh.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I was saying we ALL have those feeling sometimes. When you are from the greatest place in the world you can't help but be home sick. Getting involved helped me have less of those days. I met some women I don't know what I would do without! Now if only I could go to Sonic...