Runners - I need your advice!

Dear runners,

Can you please tell me how to breathe? When I go for runs, which is not often because of the problem I am about to mention, I have horrible side-stitches.

I can never seem to get a deep breath when I am running. Obviously, this isn't normal but it makes running miserable for me.

I can handle the leg cramps. I can handle sweating (though I hate it). But I can't handle not being able to breathe.

Please help me. 

"You NEVER back up...NEVER!"

I clearly need to teach my husband some lessons in the do's and don'ts  of parking war!

As we pull into the Nordstrom parking lot, I spy a primo spot...first row, first spot! I yell to Mr. Marine, "Right there, hurry!!!!"

He turns his blinker on and waits for the woman to back out. 

Meanwhile, there is a car that has driven past the spot and looks to be waiting for another spot. Then Mr. Marine says, "Oh, I think that person is going to back into this spot."

"Too bad." says the experienced parking war wife.

So, right before my eyes and against my screaming obscenities, Mr. Marine BACKS UP!!!!

The person then backs up, whips straight into the spot and we were just left to watch and rejoin the parking wars!

I just looked at him with fire in my eyes and calmly say, "Babe, You NEVER back up in the Nordstrom parking lot! NEVER EVER! If someone drives past a spot, that's their problem...but you NEVER back up!"

Mr. Marine just isn't cut out for the vicious shopping world. That's better left to us with experience. 

Lesson learned: I'll be driving next time!

Be Jealous...Be Very Jealous!

What is arriving at my house over the course of this weekend?

1 Fisher & Paykel Double Dish Drawer

(ps...I'm screaming right now because we don't have a dishwasher now and I am soooo excited to get one! This snob doesn't wash dishes!)

1 Electrolux Range...think Kelly Ripa...that's right


1 Giant Slab of Top-of-the-Line Granite!!!!!

This is coming to my house.....waaahhhhhh hooooooooo!

Our kitchen is going to be remodeled and I am pumped! Can't wait to show y'all the before and after. You will die when you see what we have been living with for a year now!

Guess I'll be eating sushi every night for the next couple weeks! Oh darn...no cooking!

Why I'm Not A Skinny B*tch!

I always ask myself, "Why can't I be as skinny as Heidi Klum?"

Because she doesn't eat...

3 bags (small bags) of Red Hot Riplets in one sitting while drinking beer and Sassys....

Nor does she get up the next morning and have Seal bring her an Egg McMuffin, and then get pissed because her coke is diet and not regular!

But at least Mr. Marine ordered it without cheese...

And I am certain she doesn't have Seal bring her lunch from Jack in the Box...along with a super sized regular coke!


And I am most positive that she works out more than ONE freakin' day over the course of 2 weeks!

I'll never be a skinny b*tch at this rate. And our kitchen is going to be torn up for the next 2 weeks...oh my gosh...I'm gonna be HUGE!

I'm so vain - I know this post is about me, about me...I'm so vain!

I know y'all are aware from previous posts that I was diagnosed with melanoma 3 years ago, had surgery and have been skin cancer free ever since (knockin on wood...no really, I just knocked on wood...I'm superstitious like that)

Well, I am a firm believer that fat looks much better when tanned. I am convinced I shed 5-10 pounds every time I get a tan. That being said, as much as I want to be skinnier, I don't want another ugly scar to match my current one. So I stay out of the sun.

But I am an avid Mystic Tanner. Spray it on baby! So before I headed off to Georgia, I swung by the tanning salon. After all, my wardrobe was only going to consist of sundresses and shorts.

Did I mention that every time I enter the tanning salon, I breathe in deeply and remind myself over and over that I can NOT get in the actual bed. It is like bringing an alcoholic to a bar and saying, "sit here while I devour a few shots." It's torture...and I get really crabby every time I see someone go into the tanning bed because I can't!

So I get my tan on right before heading south. Just as I am getting home, it starts to drizzle. No biggie...I just rush into the house, grab the dog, Mr. Marine and head out on the long open road!

Ahhhh, I can feel my tan seeping in and I love the smell of tanning!

We arrive in Athens, and I go to change my clothes.

Uh (gasp!)...silence...

I have a skin disease. Michael Jackson's pigment disease!

Every.Single.Place. that rain touched me is now white! I am a blotchy mess! And all I have to wear are sundresses! I dropped an F-bomb and RAN to my friend's shower. Jumped in. Scrubbed. Soaped. Loofahed. Scrubbed. Panicked. Scrubbed.

Nothing helped. I was a blotchster and would remain one until my tan wore off.

I am now convinced that God made this happen to me to teach me a lesson! I realized, through this experience that I am a vain woman! I truly didn't want to leave the house. I cried. I actually cried. I changed outfits up to 5 times before ever deciding on one. I told my husband and my friend that I was fearful people would think I had that pigment problem. I was certain people were staring. And we were in Mr. Marine's college town and I was in a panic that I would run into his ex and she would think "ha ha, he may have dumped me but now he is married to a woman with a pigment disease." I was worried for Mr. Marine...I was an embarrassment to my husband!

Well, over the course of the vacation, I dealt with it and wore what I wanted...not what covered up the blotches. Though I am not going to lie, it bothered me every time I looked at my arm.

And while I have made progress in being less vain due to this experience...I am still thanking God that he didn't make the raindrops hit my face!

Georgia on My Mind!

Alrighty y'all...my trip to Georgia was jam packed with stops, good eats, beach time and my first sunburn in 3 years! So I am going to give you a story through pics instead of boring you with an essay.  

First, on our trip was of course...Athens! Mr. Marine is a UGA alum and we try to get back there as often as possible. Usually (umm...every.single.time) we go there, he ends up drunk and reliving his frat boy days and I end up pissed off and hating Athens. 

This time...he behaved himself the ENTIRE time and we had a blast!

First stop...Blind Pig Tavern! Awesome food, fried pickles (which we didn't eat this time) and great beer. YUM

After Blind Pig, we headed out to do some shopping! I love college towns because their boutiques are always amazing! I got a super cute ring and an awesome dress! Mr. Marine bought Riley a UGA dog collar, some UGA golf balls and a pewter "G" Alumni license plate cover to replace the one I broke when I backed into his car and put my trailer hitch through the first pewter cover!

Meet Theo...the dog our dog loved to hate! Theo weighs as much as Riley and wanted to pounce on Riley like he was a bouncy ball! This dog has the most energy of any bulldog I have ever met. He runs around like he is the size of a chihuahua! 

How could you not love that face?

Being true to tradition, we ended our stay in Athens by eating at Locos before hitting the road. 

The next few days were filled with family and friends. Mr. Marine spearheaded a guys golf trip to Parris Island. So I grabbed the girls and we headed to Beaufort, SC. I gave them a quick tour of PI before heading out for shopping! 

Guess what happens at PI? "They Make Marines"

My dear friend Jenny had just had a baby girl, so I decided her first baby girl needed some "big sis" attention. So here comes Miss Carrie with presents! The main attraction being the multi-colored tutu that went on immediately! It went perfect with the princess books!

Then she discovered hats...and we tried every.single.one of them on!

After a day of shopping, we headed to the beach. I refuse to be photographed in my Juicy swimsuit because...well, it's still a swimsuit! But here is my handsome dog Riley with his new UGA collar! He loves the beach and rolling in the sand. 

Then we went to the SEC Conference Golf Championship at a Sea Island Course. It was beautiful! 

So, little side story...Mr. Marine and I both ended relationships to be with one another. Both were sudden and unexpected for our now ex's. Well, we are at the golf tournament and low and behold...we run into my husband's ex-girlfriend's mom! Talk about awkward for Mr. Marine! She was certain he was going to be her son-in-law and now she is standing next to his wife!

I however, was just glad I looked good that day because I am sure the ex got a detailed phone call!

So, there is a synopsis of our trip back home! I got a crazy sunburn (my melanoma surgeon would be p.i.s.s.e.d) but I applied SPF 50...I just forgot that my dress cut in at the shoulders so I got roasted!

I just realized, it looks as though I only wore this black dress the entire time we were in GA. I swear I wore a ton of other outfits, sometimes more than 2 a day. I guess these were the only times the camera came out! eeekkk...that's terrible!

All in all, it was an awesome trip. I am bummed to be back here, but excited because we start a kitchen renovation this week!

P.S. I promised a funny story but it deserves its own post...so the spray tan chaos will be written about tomorrow!

Back "Home"

Mr. Marine, Riley and I finally arrived "home" today. We spent a wonderful week enjoying friends and family, the beach, fresh seafood, and The South!

I have pictures, and hilarious stories...but I don't currently have the energy to share. 

But after a nice sleep tonight, I'll share all of it once I get off work tomorrow!

Not so happy to be back in the cold Midwest, but very happy to be back to the blogging world!